09.02.2004

<precursors>

can't believe it's been almost a month since i last blogged. i've been so busy. i wish my to-do list has something like 'rest' or 'relax' on it.

so much have happened - including a major shouting match with my landlord downstairs last night. i'm glad i called 3 other friends PLUS my housing agent to come before i talk to that monster or i would probably have bought an airticket and left china since i'm almost had it with 'the chinese and the chinese ways'. and i've seen a few people, including myself make quite a few major, possibly life-changing decisions in those 20+ days. in any case, over japanese food with four others couple days ago, i shared with them what i read on 'elementary particles' (michel houellebeco) which holden entrusted on to me when he passed through for one day on the tiny malaysian island i was hiberating on during spring fest.

'carried forward by the sweep of history and their determination to be part of it, symptomatic individuals lead lives which are, in the main, happy and uncomplicated. a couple of pages are sufficient to summarise such a life. janine ceccaldi, on the other hand, belongs to a different and dispiriting class of individuals we can call precursors. well adapted to their time and way of life on one hand, they are anxious, on the other hand, to surpass them by adopting new customs, or proselytising ideas still regarded as marginal. precursors, therefore, require a more detailed study - especially as their lives are often torturous or confused. they are however, merely catalysts - generally of some form of social breakdown - without the power to impose a new direction on events; which role is the preserve of revolutionaries and prophets'

precursor - hey, i know some people like that.

and what a good euphemism for the next person (especially a symptomatic singaporean) who comes up to me and ask - what do u want to be when u grow up? what are you doing with your life? why are you living life so vacariously?