17.04.2004

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recently, i feel that my rights to expressing myself through painting have been violated.

let's face it, art of painting may have evolved, but the minds of the majority are still stuck somewhat in the impressionist period. people generally respect painters who could produce work that resembles as much to real life as possible or even better, work that resemble as much to beautiful things as possible. it's better to have a renoir or a sisley at home. picasso is better left in the museum

i repect impressionist artists, as they cannot afford to make too many mistakes if they decide to try to have a basket of fruits look like what it is on a photograph.

but i feel more for work that's more creative, more imaginative with more personality.

i have painted some in the past year or so, and i think people are more amazed by the fact that i could actually pick up a brush and paint, then by the pieces i produce

when i have a blank piece of canvas, i start out with some idea about what it's going to look like, but the end result is never ever what i had started out with. i don't care because to me, the process of painting is the process of my life. i do not judge my paintings as how 'wow' or 'beautiful' it is. i like a quote from one of my favourite people 'i do not masturbate in front of my painting'.

looking at the different parts of the painting, and the colours, i remember what went on in my life and how i was feeling when i did them. almost like a diary. in that sense, 'art' that i have is totally not competitive. i'm not trying to make money out of it, or trying to get it displayed. it's just a means to express myself. that's how personal it is.

and i think this can apply to anybody - but people are just to fixated with the idea that one must be 'talented' to paint. why? it's all so subjective, who's to judge the 'talent' anyways? art is so equal. the guys who managed to make it to top galleries and art circles - really, sometimes it's all about networking and PR

so when someone suggested TWICE, IN MY HOME, that 2 showcases of dead bugs could be hung in the place of my paintings, AFTER i have explained to her what my 'art' means to me, i take it as a complete sign of disrespect. i do not wish to brood to long over narrow minded people, but right now, i'm feeling not-too-good.... :(

MY DRAWINGS DO NOT TRY TO IMITATE LIFE, THEY TRY TO CREATE LIFE, TRY TO INVENT LIFE - KEITH HARING